End of the Year Laughs

Blogging has been on hiatus over the past several weeks as the school year gets begins to wind down. I thought today I’d share a few of the hilarious things my students have said to me lately. Yes, I keep a pen and paper near at all times to record these for future laughs.  These are keeping me sane as all the kiddos are beyond ready for school to be out.

I’m pretty sure these each came from a different child, so this is a glimpse into the wonderful world of my kindergarten classroom… Enjoy!

1.     Student: “Me and my brother are going to be in a wedding in June. I get to dress up like a cowgirl.”

Me:  “Oh really? That will be so much fun.”

Student: “Yea, and my brother gets to be the ring BARRIER.”

2.     Student: “Mrs. Garland, we’ve been outside too long for recess today. I’m getting STUN-burnt.”

Me: Shaking my head.

3.     Student: “I had to go to the doctor yesterday cause I’m having surgery this summer.”

Me: “Oh no. What kind of surgery? Are you nervous about it.”

Student: “No, I’m not scared or anything. I’ll be asleep when they cut me. And when they’re all done, they will put SNITCHES in it.”

4.     Student: (Sniffs my arm. I know, right??) “Mrs. Garland, you smell like the Easter Bunny.”

Me: “Not sure what that means, but thanks I think. Is that good?”

Student: “Yea, you know, like jelly beans and chocolate.”

5.     At the police department for a field trip, and the K-9 Unit is doing a demonstration when….

Student: “Is that dog a werewolf?”

Officer: “No, she’s just a German Shepherd.”

Me: Shaking my head.

6.     Again, at the police department for a field trip, and the officer is describing the tools he uses for his job.

Officer: “This is our gun… This is a taser…. This is a flashlight…. These are handcuffs.”

Student: “My mama’s got a pair of those”

Officer: “Does she now?”

Me: Doing that silent laugh that hurts because something was too inappropriately funny, shaking my head, and wishing sometimes I had a video camera to record these priceless moments.

We’ve almost made it to summer, people. I will miss these children next year, but I know they will share some great wisdom with their first grade teachers.

Spring Whistling

From our back porch in early March

I’ve been brainstorming ways to start this, so I searched for a quote about spring. My intentions were to blog about the beauty of spring and the promise of new life, sappy stuff I will get to eventually, but I wanted to share my wise crack first. Insert sly grin here.

 “Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.”  ~Doug Larson

So true, right? In springtime, we all are filled with fresh air, bright eyes, and a hope for new things as the seasons change. We see life outside again. The past few weeks have definitely been whistling weather, even though I’ve had my share of slushy shoes.

Our only blooming azalea

I am always an early victim of spring fever, but as I get, ah-ahem, older, my reasons are maturing. As a student, I definitely understood spring fever to mean summer is quickly approaching, a defense for slacking off in my schoolwork. Spring was simply a route we all walked through just to get to summer—hot & sunny days at the pool, beach trips, shorts & tank tops, late nights, etc.

In my more adult perspective, spring is a miracle, not just a stepping-stone. The beautiful changes- color in the grass, birds in the sky, and blooms (especially our gorgeous irises) everywhere- are reminders of God’s love and greatness. These are the reasons for my spring fever, wanting to be outside more than inside, this year.

I’m using my newfound spring energy to help shed some of the pounds I picked up during winter “hibernation.” After all, summer will be here before we know it. That’s just how the calendar works. And it’ll be time for those hot days at the pool, beach trips, shorts & tank tops, late nights, etc.  

Pinning

Hahaha. I’m sure someone, somewhere has already made this reference to Charlie Sheen’s epic interview, but it made me feel clever.

The past few weeks, as part of my resolution to learn to sew, I’ve spent countless hours #pinning. Looking at Pinterest for ideas and sewing tutorials, and then attempting to complete the projects. Of course that means I’ve also spent money on craft supplies and I’ve neglected my housework, but that’s okay. At least I made something.

So far, I’ve been fairly successful, minus today’s “Thing One & Thing Two” cupcakes, so I thought I’d share three things I’ve learned from DIY/Crafts on Pinterest.

1.     Before you login, have a general idea of what you’re looking for. If you don’t, you’ll end up looking at things you don’t really need. For example, last week, I wanted ideas for magazine storage. I ended up finding a great “vintage” wine crate idea, which led to another vintage framed-scrapbook-art idea. Which of course led to the scrapbook tree idea… You see what I mean?

2.     Set a time limit for yourself. I am clearly the queen of wasting time & being easily distracted. In the past two weeks, I’m sure my total hours of pinning exceeded 24 hours. Sad, I know. 

3.     Be realistic with your expectations. If you’ve never made homemade cupcakes or homemade icing before, expect a learning experience…and be prepared for multiple attempts. In my learning experience this week, I was attempting to make these fabulous cupcakes I found for my school celebration of Dr. Seuss’s birthday. The cupcakes, as in the “cake” part, turned out great. The icing, not so much. It was supposed to be bright blue and piped to look like tall, wild, Thing-One-Ish hair. Let’s just say it was a failed attempt. The icing was delicious, but it looked like blue soup. At 5:00 this morning, I was pinning again to find ways to thicken icing. All attempts to revive my icing were in vain. In the end, the kids loved the treat, but I was super-disappointed in my baking skills.

New goal: spread the projects out over several weekends rather than cramming everything into one three-day weekend. This weekend, my time pinning will be more limited as I plan to finish a book I started months ago. See my pic below for my scrapbook tree & wine bottle vase I finished last weekend. I say it's an improvement to our kitchen space.

If you need an invite to Pinterest, let me know. I’m happy to spread the mania.

Right Here at Home

Have you SEEN outside today? Gorgeous. I’m in love with this weather. If this is winter, I’ll take it.

Anyway, I wanted to write today about the realization I had this past week. In my search of kind things to blog about, I remembered all of the small things my husband has done for me lately. He will probably be mortified that I’m blogging about him, but he deserves a moment -however brief & embarrassing- in the spotlight.

He’ll love this more, too, because he continues to ensure me that keeping a blog is totally dorky (I know, hurtful) and that it is unlikely many people actually read it (gasp).

So, in this very public and highly read (hehehe) media, I would like to commend him for his unselfish kindness… at home with me, with his family, and in his daily routine at school. Living with me is not always an easy task. I’m terribly loud and very clumsy. I struggle to be a good listener. I love sleeping late, playing on my computer (or phone or iPad or other technology format), sewing until late hours of the night, hogging the remote, and filling up the DVR with Chelsea Handler. 

You get the picture- I’m slightly self-centered.

But, through it all, he is forever patient and kind. We are not typically “Valentine’s-ish” people, but I was surprised this year with a rose. For two weekends in a row, he has sneaked out of bed in the morning, taken care of our fur-babies, and let me sleep until after 10:00. Two of those days, when I finally crawled out of bed after 12+ hours of sleep, he had a biscuit waiting for me. He has sat through numerous new sit-coms that I know are not his favorite. And he continues to support me through my serious budgeting flaws (I’d love to say they’re minor math mistakes, but that’s simply not true).  

I’ve always known my husband’s a great guy, and he continues to make me proud everyday in his hard work, family support, and *youthful* sense of humor. I can only hope his kindness and level-headedness will somehow rub off on me.

My search for kindness in the world this week was quite simple and fairly short. My husband. Right here at home all along. 

Keeping Calm

I really started this year out with a bang on my blog, or at least I thought so. The past few weeks have been unbelievably hectic, especially considering Jamie isn’t even coaching this year. I thought we might have some down time, but I was mistaken. I realized that no matter how much we “give up”, we will always find a way to fill that extra time.

But, the point this week isn’t to vent about my busy life. I actually have a big celebration/actualization to discuss.

I was quite shocked a few months ago when my principal asked me if I would host a student teacher. It was one of those “Who, me? Are you sure you mean me? The girl with only a few years under my belt… still figuring this out myself…Right here… ME?” I gladly accepted, but still question my qualifications, if you will.

Best. Decision. EVER.

I have had the past four weeks to get to know an amazing young lady who happens to be extremely gifted in the classroom. She is so excited to come to school everyday… and it shows in her teaching. Her enthusiasm and fresh hope has encouraged me to take a better look at how I approach my students everyday.

Rather than focusing so much on every little detail, I’ve been more goal-oriented. Rather than repeating myself (5,000 times everyday- at least) to the point of frustration, I’ve been challenged to find another way to achieve our objectives. Rather than losing my patience, I’ve been more focused on keeping calm.

Little things may, and they most likely will, come up everyday. But when we get creative, we can still find a way to achieve our goal.

 Keep calm, stay focused on the goal. My mantra for now.

Wal-Mart Hero

Only 18 days into the new year, and I have found my hero/inspiration for the next several months. At Wal-Mart (of all places).

If you have ever been shopping with me, or you’ve seen me shopping, or maybe you just read my blog about holiday shopping, you get the vibe that I don’t shop leisurely. It’s not fun for me.

Especially in Wal-Mart, where I swear those lights and crowds induce some kind of mild anxiety attack (quite possibly so that people like me grab as much as they can as fast as they can and race out the door). Oh, Wal-Mart… after a nine-hour work day... Throw on a side of After-Christmas-NO-MONEY-LEFT Checkbook status.

AND…  the icing on the cake… I had to “stop by” Wal-Mart twice last week after school. I sacrificed my sanity TWICE in one week to save… maybe eight bucks? Imagine my mental state.

Anyway, the man that made me recognize I was acting like Drama Queen of the Year was standing outside of the store near the red light. I’m sure if you had to make a similar shopping trip in the last week, you saw the man, too.

The first day I saw him as I was leaving, doing my deep-breathing exercises. He was holding a sign that read “HOMELESS. Will work for food.” And of course the light stopped me directly in front of him, so I read it (rather awkwardly) like 1,000 times.

Wow. Here I am, as lucky as can be—so blessed with a loving family, awesome friends, a great job, you know...a house… the list goes on. And I’m having a fit because I had to wait five minutes in line to buy dog food. Really?!?! How selfish could I be? Then the sense of guilt ran over me because I had absolutely nothing to give him (and here I am still staring at his sign). No cash, no food, no job opportunities.

Second trip to Wal-Mart, and I’m mentally preparing myself for the man standing by the red light. Sure enough, he was there. This time, though, he had company. I watched as a man, I assume was a kind stranger, carried a bag of fast food and a hot coffee to him.

Wow, again. This generous man, who is now my Wal-Mart hero, walked right through the intersection to offer him a meal.

 I’m not sure if the homeless man took the food or if they talked for long, but I know I continue to be amazed at how much love and generosity there is around us. Not every act of kindness is so bold or obvious, but each one is still important. Recognizing these acts, rather big or small, has been a blessing for me as they remind me of God’s love… and in this case, it reminded me not to sweat the small stuff.

Even in Wal-Mart.

In Stitches … Literally

One week in to the new year, and I’m keeping true to my resolutions thus far. I’ve exercised 5 of 7 days and lost a few of the holiday pounds I managed to pack on (Knowing my darling husband has lost almost 8 lbs. in a week makes me extremely jealous; men and their ability to lose weight so quickly is irritating). The honey bun cake I made for supper club wasn’t the best idea I’ve had. I scarfed down four slices in 24 hours, but I digress…

The family thing was harder to do this week. Here I go, making excuses, but the first week back to school after a break is so draining. I saw my dad several times at the gym, and Jamie and I took a nice walk yesterday in the beautiful winter sunshine. Today I’m planning to drop by to visit my grandparents for a little while. So, this is definitely a work in progress.

My acts of kindness to note this week I observed at school. I know all of my teaching buddies sympathize with the chaos of the first week back after Christmas. And with report card grades due next week, I thought last week would never end. Despite the heavy workload, I made it through with the help of some pretty awesome co-workers. From other teachers helping me with assessments to carrying library books for me to bringing me a Diet Mountain Dew (much needed by the end of the week), I realized, again, how lucky I am to work with thoughtful people everyday.

Speaking of working… I spent yesterday afternoon working on a cover for a friend’s Kindle Fire. I found several patterns online for free and one in a book, but I wasn’t crazy about any of them in their entirety. So, I decided to merge the ideas together and make my own. For a beginner sewer, I’m now thinking this wasn’t the best path to take—Next time, I’ll just follow the directions because I am either the world’s worst measurer or the fabric shrunk significantly as I sewed. Ugh. After two attempts and four hours of sewing (and probably a few choice words here and there), I finally had something that looked halfway decent. 

My plans for today are to get a few household chores completed and then start a new sewing project. Not sure what’s next… I’m browsing for ideas. Let me know if you have any suggestions!