End of the Year Laughs

Blogging has been on hiatus over the past several weeks as the school year gets begins to wind down. I thought today I’d share a few of the hilarious things my students have said to me lately. Yes, I keep a pen and paper near at all times to record these for future laughs.  These are keeping me sane as all the kiddos are beyond ready for school to be out.

I’m pretty sure these each came from a different child, so this is a glimpse into the wonderful world of my kindergarten classroom… Enjoy!

1.     Student: “Me and my brother are going to be in a wedding in June. I get to dress up like a cowgirl.”

Me:  “Oh really? That will be so much fun.”

Student: “Yea, and my brother gets to be the ring BARRIER.”

2.     Student: “Mrs. Garland, we’ve been outside too long for recess today. I’m getting STUN-burnt.”

Me: Shaking my head.

3.     Student: “I had to go to the doctor yesterday cause I’m having surgery this summer.”

Me: “Oh no. What kind of surgery? Are you nervous about it.”

Student: “No, I’m not scared or anything. I’ll be asleep when they cut me. And when they’re all done, they will put SNITCHES in it.”

4.     Student: (Sniffs my arm. I know, right??) “Mrs. Garland, you smell like the Easter Bunny.”

Me: “Not sure what that means, but thanks I think. Is that good?”

Student: “Yea, you know, like jelly beans and chocolate.”

5.     At the police department for a field trip, and the K-9 Unit is doing a demonstration when….

Student: “Is that dog a werewolf?”

Officer: “No, she’s just a German Shepherd.”

Me: Shaking my head.

6.     Again, at the police department for a field trip, and the officer is describing the tools he uses for his job.

Officer: “This is our gun… This is a taser…. This is a flashlight…. These are handcuffs.”

Student: “My mama’s got a pair of those”

Officer: “Does she now?”

Me: Doing that silent laugh that hurts because something was too inappropriately funny, shaking my head, and wishing sometimes I had a video camera to record these priceless moments.

We’ve almost made it to summer, people. I will miss these children next year, but I know they will share some great wisdom with their first grade teachers.